Friday, February 17, 2012

Dreaming of my husband. Wish I could go back in time~

Last night was a restless night. Enrique and JC woke up at 3AM and thought it was morning or  something. Anyways when I woke up, I thought Randall was mad about something. Then I remembered, he is gone. After the boys settled down, JC ended up crawling into Gramma's bed. As I fell asleep, I kept touching Something at the bottom of the bed with my foot. It felt like Randall was stretched out at the bottom of the bed, with his foot rubbing against mine. Whenever I couldn't sleep and did not want to wake him, I would barely touch his foot with my foot and got to sleep like that. Oh If I had one more day with him, to tell him how much I love him. But one day, we will meet again. I feel there is only a thin veil separating my sweet husband and me. Oh, to take back every time I pouted or complained, every time I was jealous or petty or selfish. I do feel terribly guilty. I should have been able to do something to save him. This is what my grief devotional says:
 False Guilt: Satan's Lies

"Yes, Satan knows when to come. He lays it on you," explained Dr. E. V. Hill. "I just want you to know it's not of God; it's the devil. God isn't punishing you at all. The devil's doing that."

The guilt and blame you hear echoing in your head is Satan lying to you. Understand and believe this. 

Dr. Hill said, "So watch the fact that it's not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It's the visitation of the devil. Rebuke it as such. Stick with your faith in God no matter how it hurts. And God has a great reward for you."

When guilt rears its head, stay focused on the truth and do not be deceived by lies.

"He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).

Holy Spirit of God, teach me to recognize Your voice and to follow it with assurance. Amen

No comments:

Post a Comment